Stupor Bowl 13 About To Start

Last weekend, hearty cyclists united in downtown Minneapolis for Stupor Bowl 13, an annual alleycat race that takes place the day before the Super Bowl, no matter what the weather. This was my fifth Stupor Bowl, and although certain I couldn’t win, I was committed to racing hard and improving on my ranking last year.

After the meetup at One On One, we pedalled over to Gold Medal Park and hoofed it up the hill to await further instructions.

Stupor Bowl 13 Manifest Side 1

The manifest had a total of 21 stops, and was a typical, almost brutally long route with a mystery stop that kept most riders wondering if they’d chosen the right path. At the start, the first secret stop was announced—Minnehaha Coffee—and we quickly modified our routes. I think most people guessed that the mystery stop would be in St. Paul, and I for one routed accordingly. I chose to go to Varsity Bike Shop first, then meander up into Northeast for Red Stag, Grumpy’s NE, 331 Club and Behind Bars. After that I followed a pack including Randall and Dispencer over the Broadway Bridge to check in at Halek’s. I ran into the same bunch again at the next stop, where they were leaving as I went in to Cuzzy’s. Then I hustled over to the Gramercy spot using 7th St and Humboldt.

I’m sure others used this sneak too, but I rode south into Bryn Mawr Meadows and cavemanned the rails over to the Kenilworth Trail to get out to Lake Calhoun. My first mistake of the race was cutting off the trail too late and having to backtrack to the Lagoon. Once there I had to do some work to get my bike down there and back out. I saw Jeff, Martin, and Randall here. As I pulled out onto Lake Street amid a torrent of vehicles and pedestrians gatherians for the loppet, I felt my toes getting cold from too much time in the snow. On the way up to Bryant Lake Bowl I was wiggling away, hoping to get some warmth.

After BLB I went up to the Bryant stop, then up to Red Dragon and CC Club, back down Lyndale to 36th and eastward on a long haul to 48th and Chicago. The next stop was Angry Catfish, the new bike and coffee shop. Corey was my curteous stamper and I was amazed at how big that place is! I look forward to stopping in when I have some more time to check it out.

I cruised over to Minnehaha Coffee, where the always-a-pleasure All The Way Ray let me know that the dreaded mystery spot was at Tiffany’s, atop the Ford Parkway hill in beautiful Highland Park, St. Paul. I huffed up the hill, got my stamp, and as I swung my leg over the saddle I had my first cramp. I managed to flush it out on the way back downhill. With just three more stops to go I just plugged through as my hamstrings started to twitch.

I debated hopping on the train at this point, but decided with just about 3 miles to the next pair of stops I was better off on the street. I ran into the Nomad, across the street to Palmer’s and over the Goat Path back into downtown. Just one more stop, but my legs were barely pushing.

I took it easy for a couple of blocks and things started to feel a bit better. I was approaching my last stop, Mackenzie’s, before rushing the last mile over to the finish at the 501 Club. It was already pretty busy in there, and as I handed in my manifest Matt wrote down the number 20 on the list, meaning I improved over last year!

After cooling down for a bit and washing the salt and dirt off my face, I sat down, ordered some food, and fought off some really bad cramps. Dining and hydrating seemed to fix that problem. The party commenced! DJ’s D.O. and Kopish did a great job getting people out on the floor and the awards ceremony was quick and well organized. Here’s the results as best as I can put them together:

Men’s Speed

1. Jeff Frane
2. Martin
3. Andy (Lambert?)

Women’s Speed

1. Fiona
2. Jana
3. AmyC

Men’s Stupor Champ

1. Jeff from Philly
2. Brauer
3. B-Rad

Women’s Stupor Champ

1. Carrie

Yellow Bag (First Place Messenger)

• Evan!!!

Congratulations to all the winners! It was another long, fun weekend as tradition demands. Josh, Zito and Matt did a great job of organizing: everything went really smoothly, there were prepared volunteers at every stop, and the party was top notch. Great job everyone!

Race Organizers