Here’s the web version of the All City Championship 5 poster I designed for Jeff over at Bikejerks/All-City Cycles. I’ll be printing some up next week after I get through the BFF. It’s always an amazing weekend, maybe this year I can make it on the podium! The bike party weekend is centered around the big, annual summer alleycat, but also includes a trick competition (bring it FGFSers!), match sprints, a trackstand contest, and Zito’s Freeride!

Ryan and Mike came out before the film to say a few words, with Mike promising to return after the film to answer questions from the audience. We were encouraged to compose difficult—or even hostile—questions in order to fight the burden of our Minnesotan stereotype.

The film itself is a brilliant, funny, and poignant follow-up. Andy and Mike got their start when they, after making a fake WTO web site, agreed to speak at several conferences and to appear on television interviews. In the new film, they perplex and anger many with their public announcement that Dow Chemical would reparate the victims of the Union Carbide Bhopal chemical disaster. They pretend to be HUD officials in New Orleans, declaring a housing project slated to be destroyed reopened. And they put on the SurvivaBall™.

Mike Bonanno

After the film, Mike came back and answered many questions about how they go about pretending to be important people. He also handed out copies of their fake New York Times.

If you get a chance, I highly recommend you see the film. I waited too long to write about it, and now you can’t see it in Twin Cities theaters, but it’s available on DVD now!

Hoary One.

Back on the 13th of February, our friend Justin threw a unique race in Menomonie, Wisconsin dubbed the Saint Valentine’s Day Hustle. I awoke to beautiful skies and a hoar’s frost upon every surface in town, rode downtown and took the train out to Scott’s place. While in the neighborhood, I got a hot, fresh cup of awesome from the bearded boys at Angry Catfish, then we loaded up and headed out with my old Bridgestone, Scott’s Pugsley and Orlando’s 1×1.

Scott and I discovered we lived in the Pacific Northwest at the same time and hung out with the same stinky musicians on the I-5 corridor. About an hour later we cruised into Menomonie, got our bikes ready, and headed into the bar. We got our manifests, a map of Lake Menomin with big red numbers indicating where on or near the lake we had to get stickers. Some stops were manned, some had booze, and there were some bonuses hiding in the woods. After lunch and a pre-race beverage, everyone was ready and we struck out onto the snow-covered lake.

St. Valentine’s Day Hustle Manifest

I was expecting it to be hard, but not as hard as it was. On open, untouched snow, the going was pretty good. It was easy to keep the wheel straight, but speed was difficult to maintain. On anything that was rutted by cars, there was a nice, speedy line—but a narrow one that was hard to stay in. The worst was where truck ruts had been covered by new snow, as you couldn’t see the ruts coming and they’d throw your wheel around.

I had trouble finding the first couple of stops, but after that, I had people making them obvious. I knew I wasn’t maintaining speed on the open lake with the leaders, but I was doing pretty good and catching up at most stops with the other riders going the same direction. (Some racers went counter-clockwise, including my travelling companions.)

After the second stop, I took off my shell and was down to a jersey over a thermal. Stop number 3 featured my second-favorite pungent liquer, Jeppson’s Malört. At stop 6 I actually put my foot through some thin ice at the beach and soaked a foot. As I was picking up the last sticker, it was pretty clear that at least Scott and Orlando had pulled into the finish line, and maybe some others too. I hiked up the stairs to find out I was 5th place!

We hung out at the bar for a while, did the awards ceremony, and then went for a little walk around town. I grabbed a snack at the Co-op, upon whose board Justin sits, and we went into the coffee shop before the bonfire on the lake. The bonfire was pretty sweet, ignited with a trail of kerosene across the snow.

Fire On The Ice

Overall, a super day out in small-town Wisconsin. Those ‘Sconnies know how to party, thanks a ton!

Snowy Skyline

Sunday’s No Name 45 street race was a smashing success with a grand total of 3 racers. I had planned assuming that almost no-one would want to race the day after the Stupor Bowl, and with snow coming down I was kind of surprised that anyone showed up. A couple of riders who had inteded to attend backed out, but the race was still on.

The manifest was a list of questions to answer at 7 record stores in the area bounded by Franklin Avenue, Lake Street, Hennepin Avenue, and Nicollet Avenue. My ideal route came out to be somewhere around 8 miles and the finish was at Palmer’s on the West Bank, because I wanted to see Cadillac vs. Cornbread.

Robbie Launching

As the racers disappeared into the flakes, I rode down the steam plant road through untread snow and emerged onto Bridge #9 after climbing the monster by the coal storage building. While my studded tires whined across the bridge, I saw four sets of sirens up on the Cedar Avenue Bridge, so I doubled back to check it out. They had the bridge blocked, but were almost done clearing an accident. There was a car in the oncoming lane, but no drivers or passengers around, just cops and a tow truck.

Clifford In His Natural Habitat

I locked up outside of Palmer’s and was a bit disappointed to find that the football game was on, you know, the one that’s the day after the Stupor Bowl. Somebody was winning, I think. I procured a beverage, sat down and prepared for the crush of racers clamoring for the finish.

A few minutes later, some dude started talking to me about basketball, and I sketched out some rough math to see how long it might take people and came up with 45 minutes for the first rider. I wanted to test an iPhone video app called Qik Video, so I started that up and aimed it at the door. Less than a minute later, our winner Alex walked in!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bjorn1101/4341956873/

One minute elapsed before Lando strolled in, sat down and filled out his manifest. Our 3rd Place and DFL winner Robbie arrived another minute later. All three missed the Extreme Noise question, and Robbie had one additional incorrect answer, so the arrival order was correct!

No Name 45 Official Results

1. Alex 0:47 -1
2. Lando 0:48 -1
3. Robbie 0:49 -2

Robbie had to depart, but the remainder of us sat around, had some beers and listened to Cadillac Kolstad, Cornbread Harris, and their band for a while. I took a ton of pictures and some video, and am working on a post about that show. Thanks everyone for coming out, I can’t wait to see what Alex has in store for us for the March No Name!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bjorn1101/4342710148/

Stupor Bowl 13 About To Start

Last weekend, hearty cyclists united in downtown Minneapolis for Stupor Bowl 13, an annual alleycat race that takes place the day before the Super Bowl, no matter what the weather. This was my fifth Stupor Bowl, and although certain I couldn’t win, I was committed to racing hard and improving on my ranking last year.

After the meetup at One On One, we pedalled over to Gold Medal Park and hoofed it up the hill to await further instructions.

Stupor Bowl 13 Manifest Side 1

The manifest had a total of 21 stops, and was a typical, almost brutally long route with a mystery stop that kept most riders wondering if they’d chosen the right path. At the start, the first secret stop was announced—Minnehaha Coffee—and we quickly modified our routes. I think most people guessed that the mystery stop would be in St. Paul, and I for one routed accordingly. I chose to go to Varsity Bike Shop first, then meander up into Northeast for Red Stag, Grumpy’s NE, 331 Club and Behind Bars. After that I followed a pack including Randall and Dispencer over the Broadway Bridge to check in at Halek’s. I ran into the same bunch again at the next stop, where they were leaving as I went in to Cuzzy’s. Then I hustled over to the Gramercy spot using 7th St and Humboldt.

I’m sure others used this sneak too, but I rode south into Bryn Mawr Meadows and cavemanned the rails over to the Kenilworth Trail to get out to Lake Calhoun. My first mistake of the race was cutting off the trail too late and having to backtrack to the Lagoon. Once there I had to do some work to get my bike down there and back out. I saw Jeff, Martin, and Randall here. As I pulled out onto Lake Street amid a torrent of vehicles and pedestrians gatherians for the loppet, I felt my toes getting cold from too much time in the snow. On the way up to Bryant Lake Bowl I was wiggling away, hoping to get some warmth.

After BLB I went up to the Bryant stop, then up to Red Dragon and CC Club, back down Lyndale to 36th and eastward on a long haul to 48th and Chicago. The next stop was Angry Catfish, the new bike and coffee shop. Corey was my curteous stamper and I was amazed at how big that place is! I look forward to stopping in when I have some more time to check it out.

I cruised over to Minnehaha Coffee, where the always-a-pleasure All The Way Ray let me know that the dreaded mystery spot was at Tiffany’s, atop the Ford Parkway hill in beautiful Highland Park, St. Paul. I huffed up the hill, got my stamp, and as I swung my leg over the saddle I had my first cramp. I managed to flush it out on the way back downhill. With just three more stops to go I just plugged through as my hamstrings started to twitch.

I debated hopping on the train at this point, but decided with just about 3 miles to the next pair of stops I was better off on the street. I ran into the Nomad, across the street to Palmer’s and over the Goat Path back into downtown. Just one more stop, but my legs were barely pushing.

I took it easy for a couple of blocks and things started to feel a bit better. I was approaching my last stop, Mackenzie’s, before rushing the last mile over to the finish at the 501 Club. It was already pretty busy in there, and as I handed in my manifest Matt wrote down the number 20 on the list, meaning I improved over last year!

After cooling down for a bit and washing the salt and dirt off my face, I sat down, ordered some food, and fought off some really bad cramps. Dining and hydrating seemed to fix that problem. The party commenced! DJ’s D.O. and Kopish did a great job getting people out on the floor and the awards ceremony was quick and well organized. Here’s the results as best as I can put them together:

Men’s Speed

1. Jeff Frane
2. Martin
3. Andy (Lambert?)

Women’s Speed

1. Fiona
2. Jana
3. AmyC

Men’s Stupor Champ

1. Jeff from Philly
2. Brauer
3. B-Rad

Women’s Stupor Champ

1. Carrie

Yellow Bag (First Place Messenger)

• Evan!!!

Congratulations to all the winners! It was another long, fun weekend as tradition demands. Josh, Zito and Matt did a great job of organizing: everything went really smoothly, there were prepared volunteers at every stop, and the party was top notch. Great job everyone!

Race Organizers

Print

Let’s have a quick, fun alleycat on Sunday night. Meetup at 6:30 at Hennepin Bandshell in Pillsbury Park. $5, Winner Takes All. You know the score!

Then lo and behold, today in my inbox is a message from mnfilmarts.org announcing that they are showing Mike and Andy’s new film The Yes Men Fix The World, which documents their apology for the Bhopal disaster, a demonstration of a new Hallibuton product called SurvivaBalls to protect managers from sudden climate change, and the announcement of Exxon’s Vivoleum.

Not only will the film be shown from February 12 to February 16 at St. Anthony Main Theater, but co-director Mike Bonnano will be present for the Friday, February 12 showings!

Here’s the trailer for the new The Yes Men Fix The World. I encourage you to check this out!

• Yes Men Web Site
  St. Anthony Main Theater
  Minnesota Film Arts

Really? 17-foot-high Pierogi Sculpture?

Community Garden? Awesome! Public Art? Sweet! A giant pierogi? uhh….

Today I walked to the grocery store and noticed this sign at the intersection of Lowry and Central in Northeast Minneapolis — at the site of an arson a few years back that destroyed the brick building and sent Alan Enger, the Northeast Firebug, to prison. (An aside, same dude tried to light a friends’ apartment building on fire, but only scorched the porch. Turned out he lived across the street!)

Last spring and summer a group from Edison High School constructed a community garden on the site, and that’s really cool—but now there are plans to install a 17-foot high pierogi on a fork on a pedestal.

I’m all for public art, and a big supporter of commemorating the history of Northeast, but erecting a massive dumpling in a culturally diverse nieghborhood at one of our most heavily trafficked intersections seems about at tacky as it gets.

Why wasn’t I consulted?

The garden and sculpture are co-sponsored by Northeast Community Development Corporation, Tom’s Styling and Tanning, and the banner from the web site of Edison High School.

This year I’m really excited because my friend Josh from Behind Bars is one of the two organizers, and the other one, the Little Guy himself, is pretty organized too—so maybe this year there won’t be a mopbucket spilled on top of the manifests and the actual winners will be announced during the awards ceremony. Maybe they’ll even have some kind of system in place to keep track of the order in which racers turn in their manifests and for determining who the winners are? I know, it’s a lot to expect, and only time will tell.

I wasn’t feeling too well last year, and although my heart was in it, I just couldn’t compete. I hope this year will be different. If anyone is looking for someone to ride with…let’s hook it up! One of these years I want to end up on the podium, but I don’t think I’ve got the legs for it…unless there’s a master’s category…anyway, here’s the details…all big and shiny.

Stupor Bowl 13 Weekend

Friday Night Pre-Registration & Welcome Party

Friday, February 5, 8pm-11pm, Nomad World Pub, 501 Cedar Avenue South, with music from Chain Fight, Whitesand/Badlands and Book Of Right On. There’s gonna be some pickup polo somewhere that night as well, check out mplsbikepolo.com for details.

Race Day

Saturday, February 6, Registration from 11am-1pm at One One One Bicycle Studio, 117 Washington Avenue North. Race starts at 2pm! Awards and party at 501 Club, 501 Washington Avenue South.